Obstacles that get in the way

I am grateful for my children. So grateful. It is funny how a wonderful blessing can bring a few thorns. For example, my sweet, eldest son came and surprised me, along with his beautiful wife, this past Saturday. It just happened to be the day before Easter and I was already a little sad about the fact that I did not have family to enjoy the day with, besides, of course, my children. I have to clarify something....I do not want a relationship with my immediate family because they do everything but build me up but I am saddened by the fact that I do not have family that loves and supports me.
Anyway, Spencer came in and they left, soon after, to hang out with friends. He got up early the next morning and took me and the younger boys to church so that he and Tiffany could go to Legacy, which is the church in which he grew up. He returned to Gateway soon and was noticeably angry because he had missed the service at Legacy. I had been really excited about the Easter service but Spence immediately made me uncomfortable at his restlessness and anxiety. He continued hanging out with his friends that evening and brought my nephew home, after midnight, on Sunday evening where they both were loud and obnoxious. I was not able to sleep soundly and awoke on Monday morning feeling as if I had consumed an entire bottle of wine the evening before.
I have had an obstacle in following the path to reach my dreams and I would not be truthful if I said that any of that really had much to do with Spencer's behavior on Sunday. He and I talked on Saturday, after he surprised me, and he let me know that my dad had attempted to get the family together so that everyone could see Spencer and Tiff while they were in town. Everyone was willing to go to dinner except for my oldest sister. She did not want to have to see me. How that set me back!! I have been feeling so worthy, so beautiful, so deserving, so....well, the list goes on and on. Why does an action from one person have to set an obstacle in front of me? A person that has never supported me, never loved me, and never even tried to pretend otherwise...why would that person have such an influence on my emotions and dreams?
After finding out that my dad was still going to take Spen and Tiff to see my sisters, I became ill. Well, actually, the fact that I had missed sleep and allowed myself to be stressed by everything going on, made me sick. I always really look forward to praise and worship time on Monday nights but I did not attend because I was not feeling good. Instead, I waited for Spencer to get home so that I could hear about their visit with my sister. I ranted and raved about how she continues to hurt me and how I don't need her in my life since she has never, ever spoke an encouraging word to me. I then went to bed.